From Jones Upon a Time

As the weather warmed the next day, the tell-tale signs of winter pattern baldness were evident. The snow receded leaving unattractive patchy clumps and the wind wouldn’t even oblige a comb-over.

In fact, there was no Sno-gaine shipment predicted to be coming in from Canada anytime soon either. Yep. This lawn was just shit out of luck.

And it was only getting worse. As the sun grew brighter, the bald patches spread like an earthy pox - the snowman’s equivalent of syphilis.

But the awkward infected-looking stage didn’t last long. By late afternoon, the lawn looked perfectly normal and the snow was an unwelcome fungus forming on the edges.

It all comes down to timing and perspective,” he thought. “Timing and perspective.”

His timing and perspective usually sucked, however.